Cancer most certainly consumes us. Whether it is of our own or of a loved one. It eats and then defines us until it's no longer and still it lingers. We must be careful during this journey as to not claim it. I refer to it as just that and not by calling it 'mine'. It is a disease, it is evil, it is darkness and it like a lion roaming within us seeking whom it can devour. I know; it almost got me and still it tries.

I was first diagnosed in May of 2019 with stage 4 throat cancer. Its name was small cell carcinoma. I remember the month and year and always will, not for the diagnosis but in gratitude of its timing. It was but a month since my mother crossed over to the other side of life. She was devastated when my sister, Nancy died in 2000 from a Sarcoma attack. It was brutal as is all cancer, often seen as death embracing the soul. It certainly took the wind out of us that day when her spirit left her body to make the windchimes sing as she left her pain-ridden body. Yes, I am thankful that my mother did not have to go on another treatment ride with another child.

I am eternally grateful for the support and loving care from my wife and her mother and from all the prayers and help from family and friends. Support in this fight is critical if we are to find victory. For without victory, we can lose sight of why we must fight. Never give up the fight. Remove "I Can't" from our minds and vocabulary. Don't let this enemy in and don't let it fade the wins in our lives. I have a lot of victories in this war known as life. I know it's a war because the battles are real like the scars on my body and in my mind. Hold to your victories even when the enemy comes back again and again. 

It was 2021, I don't remember when but I had a itchy spot on my ear. Small cell carcinoma. Had it removed along with a Melanoma on my stomach and basil cell on my nose. No sweat, after high dose chemo and radiation. Which by the way is a great weight loss program but not recommended. I lost 70 pounds. Facing deaths doorway, I remember thinking every time I closed my eyes that I would not wake up. I was being consumed. Don't give up. 

Recently this year (2024), I some sores on my tongue. I was going through 'Orejel' like candy. Oh, if I could only eat a piece of Esther Price chocolates! And yes, it was small cell carcinoma. I was almost at the 5-year mark when we're supposed to be able to wave the all-clear flag of freedom from the cancer. Surgery pursued and though I won that battle as well, there is still the collateral damage. Scars that go unseen are nonetheless scars and evidence of a fight won. Always remember the victories in life. Don't fade out with forgotten memories of gold.